Diffidentia
Prologue
“Yargh!”
He left the stables at speed, the rider hunched forward, hugging the mount, pulling his cloak around himself against the cold night air. He sat low in the saddle with the reins taut and spurred the beast forward.
“Honk!”
The emu sped up, charging over cobbles, head high and alert. Ahead the gate loomed out of the darkness and the dwarf rider lifted his head a little, grabbing onto the Emu’s neck, and bouncing around like a child being jigged rapidly on daddy’s knee.
“Open the gate!” he ordered as he jerked forward, “Open the damned gate or I’ll have you hung by first light!”
There was no movement. The manned gate seemed to be…well…unmanned. Regardless, the bird charged forward, its legs blurring like the feet of a dormouse whose tail has been pinned by a cat. As they drew near the gate, the rider had no choice but to pull hard on the reins, causing the frustrated emu to slow and then stop.
The dwarf banged the door with his boot.
“I order you to open the gate!”
A flickering light within the house appeared underneath the door and then a tired, old-looking dwarf poked his head, rubbing his eyes, holding a lantern up to the bitterly, cold night. The old dwarf shook his head and a moment later he stepped out and walked over to the garden gate.
“By the Gods, Reckboorne, is that any way to speak to your Grandfather?” Grandpa said as he unlatched the small, garden gate and opened it, “Open the gate yourself next time, you lazy little twot. It’s four o’clock in the morning for god’s sake. Where are you off to at this ungodly hour?”
“I’ve urgent business in Centrum, Grandpa,” the dwarf replied, “There’s been a robbery up at the Gold Reserve and I need to deliver vital evidence.”
“Centrum, huh? Why not take the ram, Reckboorne? It’d be quicker.”
“You’d think, but since we performed the castration, he’s been out of sorts.”
“Oh? How?”
“Well, you know, his back knees are now locked together, and he has one of those looks that suggests he no longer has anything to live for.”
“Poor little lamb. Ooh! That reminds me, I have some of Maudlin’s Iced Raspberry Bread with crushed almonds. You can take it for the journey,” he disappeared into the annex, re-appearing moments later holding a gathered-up green and white chequered cloth. He handed it to Reckboorne who took the Iced Raspberry Bread.
“I’m afraid I’ve licked all the icing off and picked out the raspberries…”
“So, it’s just soggy bread, then.”
“Well, you’ve still got the crushed almonds…I didn’t like the taste of them.”
“Oh Grandpa, to return the favour, I’ll try and pick you up some imp poison on my return.”
“But I don’t have a problem with imps, Reckboorne?”
“I never said you did, Grandpa,” he said as he urged the emu forward, “I never said you did.”
The gate slammed shut behind him and there was a mumbled insult from his Grandfather as he began descending the rocky path to the shore below. An onshore breeze cut through his clothing as he descended and the sounds of waves crashing against the crag face far below was all he could hear. It was a full moon and the emu moved deftly down the cliff path, unimpeded by the terrifyingly sharp bends, the viciously strong winds, or the exhaustingly heavy bottom that was bouncing up and down on its spine. When it reached the floor, it automatically moved along the shingle beach before picking up a well-used path, following the estuary inland. It moved quickly and Reckboorne was pleased with the progress. As the path moved away from the river into the forest, his vision adjusted well, helped by the faint illumination caused by fairy lights swaying among the forest trees…messages like “Live Couples”, “Tonight: Girl on Girl”, and “Group Poundings” hung from branches. This was, after all, home to the Fairy Wrestling Federation.
He reached into the green and white cloth and pulled out some soggy bread. He leant forward and fed it to the emu…who spat it out in disgust.
“Honk!”
Reckboorne smirked.
“Don’t think you’re getting anything else, Heemu,” he said, “I have nothing else until I can shop in Centrum. We can’t stop. This journey’s too important…far too important…”
His voice drifted off as his thoughts went elsewhere.
A whoosh from above the tree line disturbed the canopy, the leaves shaking from some unseen movement. Reckboorne’s right hand immediately reached for the short sword at his side.
“Honk?” said Heemu nervously.
Reckboorne glanced up into the darkness.
‘Something’s up there, above the canopy,’ he thought.
“We’d better move faster. Yaargh!” he spurred Heemu on, pushing the bird as fast as he could through the forest, seeing a small clearing up ahead that should afford him some visibility of the night sky. He surged forward, keeping his eyes on the canopy, looking for any sign of movement but seeing nothing.
As they reached the clearing, the emu minced on and Reckboorne took the opportunity to look up and scan the night sky. In the moonlight he could see dark, heavy Nimbus clouds blocking his view as the first droplets of rain began to fall upon his up-turned face.
“Ugh!…Dragon urine!” he spat as the cool liquid hit his mouth.
He immediately turned Heemu off the path and back into the forest, crashing through the low hung branches, scattering fairy wrestling signs as they went. Within seconds of turning away, the clearing became an incinerator, the heat of gushing flame hitting Reckboorne’s back. He pushed on deeper into the forest undergrowth, getting more and more lost, unsure if he should keep still or run. Then, the shadow of the dragon was upon him, its wings beating hard, blowing leaves and dust up into his face and that of Heemu as it came down out of the sky.
Reckboorne shielded his face.
“Honk!!” said Heemu who slowed and then just stopped, frozen in fear.
“What are you doing you stupid bird,” Reckboorne shouted spurring the bird to move.
The bird lay down on the ground, shaking, and the dragon landed.
“Hmmpf!” the dragon said.
Reckboorne noticed it was wearing slippers. He climbed off Heemu and drew his short sword.
“Oh, it’s kind of you to bring me a toothpick,” the dragon said, baring his gums and running his snake-like tongue across them, “I do find that dwarves intestines get stuck between my teeth. You’re chewy. I think it has something to do with your diet. I much prefer Elves. They seem to just dissolve in the mouth.”
“Get away from me, firebreather?” Reckboorne shouted, pointing the sword at the dragon’s snout.
“Firebreather? That’s not very insulting. Drop your sword, short person.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be an insult. I’m hardly likely to antagonise a red dragon.”
“Well, yes…yes, I understand that. Who’s your friend?”
Reckboorne looked at Heemu whose eyes were wide in terror. It was shaking its head from side to side.
“This is Heemu,” Reckboorne said.
“Mmm, I wouldn’t eat the legs, but the rest looks tasty.”
“Honk!” said Heemu as it jumped to its feet and ran off into the forest, the cakes falling to the floor.
“What do you want from me?” Reckboorne said, the cold seeping into his bones.
“Ooh! Let’s banter a little more. I don’t have much opportunity in this form to chew the cud.”
“In this form? Is that why you’re wearing slippers?”
The dragon looked down.
“Oh?…Yes…I left in a hurry. I have many forms you see, but I do rather enjoy this one. It’s the fear it generates. I can smell the musty scent wherever I go…the hair standing on the back of their necks, the adrenalin surging through their veins, the itsy bitsy testicles going all tight and disappearing up inside their bodies.”
Reckboorne pulled his cloak around him against the cold.
“Chilly? I could always warm you up, if you’d like?” the dragon asked.
Reckboorne shook his head and grimaced.
“Look, can we please just get on with this?” he asked.
The dragon sighed.
“Fair enough. I want the instant picture you are taking to Centrum. Do you have it?”
Reckboorne shook his head.
“No, I sent it by carrier pigeon.”
The dragon shook its head.
“Tut, tut, tut…you would not have risked something so detrimental to the throne of Dangally as to put it on the leg of a stupid carrier pigeon…a leg that is more likely to end up a mousseline anywhere, than arrive in Centrum with your message attached. No, you are hand carrying it to Centrum yourself.”
The dwarf sighed.
“Well, you may as well let me go, because I also sent a duplicate by carrier pigeon. You know…just in case. So, either way, the message is going to get there…well, get somewhere, but its out there, and that’s what’s important.”
The dragon frowned.
“You did, didn’t you?”
The dwarf nodded and relaxed, smirking.
“I suppose I should have seen that coming. You are in Quality, after all. I guess I’ll have to go and try to find this damned pigeon,” and the dragon ate the dwarf in one.
—–
After the dragon had swallowed Reckboorne, it used its claw to pick the dwarf’s intestine out from between its teeth. Then its nostrils caught a scent. It put them to the ground and sniffed.
“Ooh! Iced Raspberry Bread,” it said and scoffed that too…then it spat it out.
—–
Take me to Chapter One…
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